Episode 32: If you don't change your behaviour you won't change your life

Let's talk about changing your behaviour 1st.


Welcome to the Self-Performance-Strategies (S-P-S) Podcast



"Behaviour is the mirror in which everyone shows their image."

- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


Groundhog day.


Once upon a time, I used to repeat the same mistakes repeatedly.


No, Stephen, not you.

Yes, sadly, it would take several punches to the face before I would learn the lesson.


I would expect life to get better, but not do anything to make that happen.


I was the type of person who set New Year's resolutions that were more like wishes.

This year will be different, I would think.

But by Jan 5th, I would be walking the same path I walked the previous 5 years.


One day in around 2012, I heard Gary Vee (he has his moments) 

Saying that you can start resolutions or a New year any day you want.

I know it sounds pretty obvious.

But it hit me hard.

I had recently got a new visa to stay in Canada and was changing careers.


It was one of the moments I said to myself…

Not again; I won't let this stop-start up-down life keep derailing me.

And that Gary Vee quote framed my emotions and thoughts.


But how did I do it?
What made the change?


I stopped doing dumb shit.


Now, it has taken me years to realize this.

But I didn't start my new life by adding new habits.

I changed it by stopping habits or replacing bad ones with not-so-bad ones.


I swapped drinking and parting for TV shows and video games.

Years later, I would swap TV and games for books and action.

But that's another story.


I didn't read 20 personal development books to figure that out; it made sense.


Less dumb shit = better life.


Because of that, I made huge behaviour and life shifts.

1st I made good money working luxury sales.

Then made a big career shift making 6-figures in the corporate world.

Before shifting again last year to running my own coaching business.


All this happened under 10 years from my Gary Vee platitude quote moment.

The funny thing is the previous 10 years had been the same year repeated 10 times.


It's amazing what can happen when you change your behaviour.


You're stuck because you use technical solutions and hacks from problems that need a change in behaviour or emotional repair.


We all go through it:

You have hit a wall, your life has plateaued, and you keep reading books, doing courses, and trying strategies to get out of your rut.

But it never works.

You get little spikes up, but they never last.


Shallow work is easy:

You do this because it is easier to use tricks, strategies and random ideas pulled from courses to improve your business than it is to work deeply on yourself.

You ride this shallow wave of small wins followed by the usual frustration.


The brick wall:

You will hit a wall at some point, but you can avoid that wall by looking past shallow actions.

When you do take time to reflect and ask yourself why this cycle happens, you will start to find the real answers.

You need to adapt your behaviour and emotions.


All progress starts by telling the truth:

80% of what you are doing today, mentally, emotionally, and physically, is holding you back from your next level.

Now I can't answer what that is for you, but it can fall into two areas:

  • Dropping habits
  • Improving your deserve level

You are the constraint:

When you start looking internally for the solution, your growth will start to build again.

The change can be rather quick, but the internal work will take focus and effort.

When you figure it out, you can't believe you didn't see the issues earlier.


In the zone:

Nothing happens, and then everything happens at once.

That is what a breakthrough does for you.

Success comes quickly.

You spend weeks and months searching for your problems externally, only to find out your next leap always comes from within.


This will repeat:

I have seen this in my own life and in many of my client's lives.

This external chase for solutions happens as we hit new highs.

We all assume we have done the internal work and don't need to do it again.

But we have to keep doing it over and over again.


The upside:

When you understand this cycle and if you feel yourself getting stuck again.

You will spend less time chasing the external and automatically go to the internal work.

This will shorten the time you spend on plateaus and in ruts.

Making success inevitable.


Stephen links:

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Big love.

Make it a great one,