The mental shift from moving 5000 milesSep 15, 2022
Let's talk about moving 5000 miles to realize you are always you.
Welcome to the Self-Performance-Strategies (S-P-S) Newsletter
The Quick Strategy:
"You cannot escape it no matter where you run, for wherever you go you are burdened with yourself. Wherever you go, there you are."
—Thomas a Kempis
The 2nd Strategy:
I took the long path to find myself:
I love doing things the hard way.
Well, I did when I was in my 20s
Maybe I still do, but that's a conversation for a different newsletter.
I never planned anything in my younger years.
I just went with the flow, not in a cool, fun way.
I repeated the same year from 23 to 28 years old.
Same places, same bars, same parties, same mistakes.
Not having clear goals meant I had a lack of daily structure.
I also hid from any emotional barriers with partying.
Anytime I started to feel stressed out, it was time to hit the clubs.
And that habit tended to repeat every weekend.
Because of this funk I was in; I chased success.
Life will get better when this or that happens.
This or that would never happen, and I would still be unhappy and frustrated.
I would unsurprisingly find myself at 3 am on the dance floor of some dark house and techno club to ease my "pain."
I did have a lot of hope for a better future, but with no goals or structure, that hope was purely dreams and wishes.
At the same time, I would beat myself up for my past:
For not applying myself at university.
For not getting a better job.
For messing up interviews.
I was caught between fear of the past and hope for the future.
"Limiting one's desires actually helps to cure one of fear. Cease to hope … and you will cease to fear."
I fell into all the mental traps you could think of at that time in my life.
I knew I needed to change.
And change I did.
Not me, obviously.
Remember, I like to do things the hard way.
I changed my environment.
Just after my 30th birthday, I moved from the UK to Vancouver, Canada.
It still stands out as the best decision of my life.
It was the BIG domino that led to my life running a coaching business today.
But back then, the perspective shift was a cruel joke.
Moving to a new country, dealing with a new culture.
Being broke, cut off from comforts and credit cards.
All left me to be with me.
Sober with no friends, in a new city.
It did not take long to realize that I may have travelled 5000 miles.
But I had brought myself with me.
What kind of person brings the old you halfway across the world?
Remember, I do things the hard way.
Hi, Steve; nice to meet you, Steve.
While removing myself from the partying was important, I could have done that back in the UK.
The temptation was removed.
That helped me focus on overcoming the mental and emotional traps I had fallen into.
And I can tell you, doing that is much easier when you're not throwing shapes in dark clubs drunk in the wee hours of Sunday morning.
The 3rd Strategy:
7 of the worst mental traps destroying your ability to get ahead in life.
One of the biggest platitudes of self-performance:
"Change your mindset, and you'll change your life."
But it's true.
Your mindset about how you deal with situations will change your results.
Having the right mindset around the common mental traps you can fall into daily is vital.
You might not even be fully aware that you currently fall into any of them.
As you go through these seven areas, you must ask yourself honestly if you are.
"All progress begins by telling the truth."
– Dan Sullivan
You can spend a lifetime getting constantly frustrated and lost without having deep, honest conversations with yourself.
Life starts once you become aware of your weaknesses.
This doesn't mean you magically fix years or decades of negative emotional or mental pathways.
But you can take a step back, review your actions, give yourself perspective, and even start overcoming these mental traps.
Let's look at these seven mental traps destroying your ability to get ahead in life:
You blow everything out of proportion:
You think everything is a major issue or problem.
You then spend days overthinking everyday situations.
You end up spending weeks without taking action.
Resulting in you manifesting larger issues by not making a decision.
This often happens because you have let frustration boil over.
"Negative thinking blows everything out of proportion."
- John C. Maxwell
When you focus on the negative, it stops you from taking action.
Look for the positive; if you can't find one, don't take any action until you do.
But if you are being honest, you will find a positive in any situation quickly, no matter how dire it is.
People's opinions matter more than your own:
You get discouraged because some person shares an opinion that knocks your confidence.
You don't need to waste time thinking about one person's negative opinion.
Focus on what works and gets results for you.
Don't let your confidence get knocked and never stop believing in yourself.
"As long as other people's opinions matter more than your own, you're owned by them. You're not even free."
- Oprah Winfrey
Build that confidence in yourself by creating small wins with your daily habits.
The best way to do that is to track your wins daily.
And a win can be as small as a great cup of coffee.
When you live like this, you notice you are winning every day.
You try to please everyone:
You often find you do things to make someone else happy.
While this can be necessary at times.
When you do it often, it's because you cannot say no or have a deep need for acceptance.
You need to be more aware of what is important to you.
Have you ever seen this be a positive for anyone?
"When you say yes to others, make sure you aren't saying no to yourself.
- Paulo Coehlo
You may lead people or a family, and to lead well, you must make sure you put yourself 1st mentally, emotionally, and physically.
If you're constantly changing direction and always trying to please others, you will find it hard to build trust.
You live in the past:
The fastest way to destroy growth in your business and life is to spend too much time living in the past.
If you want to be happy and fulfilled, you need to learn how to be present in the now.
Set daily intentions and be grateful for what you have.
Being trapped in the past and letting old fears and negative habits dictate your actions will destroy you.
"We are made wise not by the recollection of our past, but by the responsibility for our future."
- George Bernard Shaw
Make your future bigger than your past.
Your actions today are driven by how big your future goals are.
If you are suffering negatively from living in the past, you probably don't have specific goals for the future you want to achieve.
Setting those big goals will make it easier to be in the now daily.
You talk down to yourself:
Why do you spend all day telling yourself things like:
"I can't do this."
"I am not good enough."
"This is too hard."
"I am too stupid."
You are the only person who'll be with you forever.
Make sure to get on well with yourself and be kind.
And remember, the voice in your head is not the true successful authentic you.
That voice comes from your heart, not your head.
"What a liberation to realize that the 'voice in my head' is not who I am.
'Who am I, then?' The one who sees that."
- Eckhart Tolle
Your inner critic is often a lower version of you; who doesn't like change and who wants you to stay the same.
Why would you listen to someone like that?
You think change is scary:
It's not; it's a beautiful part of life.
You don't have to be happy about everything that happens.
Yet fear should never hold you back.
Even if the change is uncertain, you know there are always positive aspects to all experiences in life.
Change in your life and business is happening right now.
"They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself."
- Andy Warhol
If you lean into change and flow with it, you can make it work for you.
Embracing change should be the status quo, but as you have already learned, parts of you want to stay the same.
But staying the same is the fast track to frustration, overwhelm, and disappointment.
You think happiness is a by-product of future successes:
You say, "I will be happy once I have this or that."
You won't be; you will be chasing the next thing.
You need habits, systems, and ways to find happiness each day
True happiness is found from within daily.
You make better decisions when those decisions come from a happy and grateful place.
"If you want to be happy, be."
- Leo Tolstoy
The best way to find happiness today is to journal about your gains and wins daily.
Yes, I have mentioned this already, but it's important to discuss further.
The power of daily win tracking will change your life and keep you in a state of positive momentum.
Why do you fall into these mental traps?
There are several reasons:
• Lack of vision
• Lack of daily structure
• Not having clear goals
• Ignoring emotional barriers
• Chasing goals you don't want anymore
If you journal each day, you will find it 100% easier to avoid these mental traps.
Like many things in life, it's simple, but not easy.
The upside of avoiding these traps is a limitless life.
It's time to start avoiding them.
I hope you all have a fantastic weekend.
Make it a great one,
P.S. Need help getting over any mental traps?
I will help you do that in less than 30-days guaranteed.
Find out more here with the 30-Day Accelerator.
Let's have a chat because helping you stop doing dumb sh*t so you can create even more success is my unique ability.
Maximizing your self-performance is the key to you creating even more freedom of time and money, and I will help you do that with my P-R-O Accelerator Program
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