Have you hit your upper limit?

Have you hit your upper limit?

Welcome to the Self-Performance-Strategies (S-P-S) Newsletter

“Each of us has an inner thermostat setting that determines how much love, success, and creativity we allow ourselves to enjoy. When we exceed our inner thermostat setting, we will often do something to sabotage ourselves, causing us to drop back into the old, familiar zone where we feel secure.”

― Gay Hendricks

Something happened to me this week.

I started fixating on the negative.

It felt strange.

Because I'd just had a big win.

I should've been happy.

I should've been building momentum.

I should've been flowing with gratitude and joy.

So why was I comparing myself to others and being over-critical of my business and recent actions?

Then it hit me.

I have an upper limit problem.

What's an upper limit problem?

In this case, your upper limit is the tolerance cap for how much happiness you will allow yourself.

In his book, The Big Leap, Gay Hendricks picks out 4 fears or beliefs holding you back when you achieve success.

1: Feeling fundamentally flawed.

2: Disloyalty and abandonment - Breaking away from family/society norms

3: More success brings a bigger burden

4: The crime of outshining family/friends

Looking at these four areas and my current situation, two of them stung hard:

Feeling flawed and success being a burden.

I spent 15 years working in retail and corporate leadership roles; it's something I know how to do.

Working online as a performance coach who also has to be a marketer, content creator, and my own personal hype man is a journey that is less than two years old.

Now, obviously, a lot of my leadership skills have crossed over, but still, there is a voice in my head reminding me of this switch and my shortcomings quite often.

I tend to ignore it, but it's still there.

Success being a burden and an upper limit issue has been with me for decades.

Anytime I have been promoted, succeeded, and rewarded for my results, I've felt burdened by the thought: I now have to work harder.

A new standard was set, and I had to show up at a higher level.

There was part of me inside saying, "Why did you do that? You've just made things more difficult for yourself."

In reality, my workload never increased.

It was all mental.

In some roles in my past, this dip would pass, in others, it began to effect my results and how I showed up for my work.

To be fair, I was kinda shocked this week.

I connected these dots and saw these patterns clearly for the first time.

I saw these upper limits issues, and how they had affected me.

I've reflected on my pitfalls before.

And I've used techniques to overcome them.

I also continue to build momentum in all areas of my life.

But never had I framed them as being an upper limit problem.

By taking the time to go deep into this realization over the last week, I have felt a shift.

I know these upper limit issues will appear again.

But next time I will be waiting for them.

Even making moves to eliminate them before they arrive.

And I want you to be able to do the same.

With a new perspective, you can make leaps forward.

Who faces these barriers the most?

Upper limit issues affect those who are striving for success because they keep hitting new heights, challenging old patterns of thinking and action.

But sometimes, these limits create a ceiling to their success.

Business owners and leaders will feel this the most, as they are in a continuous loop of creating success for themselves or their teams.

How do you overcome upper limit issues?

There are five strategies you can use to help bring awareness to and overcome upper limit issues.

Using one of these strategies would work.

But using all five will quickly eliminate the fears and beliefs holding you back.

Let's have a look at them:

1 - Letting go meditation:

"To let go does not mean to get rid of. To let go means to let be. When we let be with compassion, things come and go on their own."

- Jack Kornfield

A simple meditation practice.

You focus on the emotion behind the fear or belief, sit with your eyes closed, and breathe for at least 10 minutes.

I have found rating the intensity of the emotion out of 10 and then sitting with it until it hits one or zero helpful.

As you let the emotion pass, you should feel lighter and focused.

2 - Long walks:

"All truly great thoughts are conceived by walking."

- Friedrich Nietzsche.

Take a walk when you feel your upper limit issues becoming a problem.

I would recommend no phone and going for at least 30-minutes.

Taking a walk is like hitting a circuit breaker.

You are breaking your daily pattern.

You are breaking your thinking pattern.

As you walk, you reflect on how and why the fear or belief has appeared.

3 - Deep Journal sessions:

"Write hard and clear about what hurts."

- Ernest Hemingway

There are very few things a pen and paper can't solve.

Use a timeline journaling technique to bring awareness to your repeated upper limit issues.

Write out every time these issues have appeared in the past and look for similar patterns and causes.

Start connecting the dots when you shine a light on the patterns.

4 - Gratitude practice:

"No one who achieves success does so without the help of others. The wise and confident acknowledge this help with gratitude."

- Alfred North Whitehead

When you win, practice gratitude.

Upper limit issues will often take you down a path of self-criticism.

When you are thankful for your wins, you move past self-criticism.

You can't be fearful and grateful at the same time.

Try it; it's impossible.

A bonus point here is to pay your success forward.

When you win, help someone else win.

Very few things make fear and limiting beliefs disappear quicker.

5 - Using 200% responsibility:

"The greatest day in your life and mine is when we take total responsibility for our attitudes. That's the day we truly grow up."

- John C. Maxwell

What? Use 200%?

Yes, your upper limit issues might involve a partner, lover, or friend.

When two people are involved, there is 200% responsibility, not 100%.

Both parties need to step up.

If you can't take full responsibility or you try to split 100% between two people, you're headed down a path of frustration and failure.

In Conclusion:

Seeing and dealing with upper limit issues will bring you a sense of satisfaction and relief.

Does this mean you will be free of them?

No, but it does mean you will be prepared to deal with them.

The goal in life is not to attain some imaginary ideal free of fear and limiting beliefs; it is to find a way to fully use our own gifts and not limit ourselves.

Big love.

Make it a great one,

Stephen