Are your goals built on the wrong foundations?Feb 09, 2023
Welcome to the SPS Newsletter.
"Good order is the foundation of all things."
- Edmund Burke
Are your goals built on the wrong foundations?
Mine 100% were.
I got the emotional foundations of my goals wrong. For years it slowed my growth. But a simple framework helped change my life forever.
But 1st where had I gone wrong?
I was motivated to prove people wrong.
When I started to get my sh*t together I felt I needed to catch up.
I had wasted years.
I aggressively went after my goals.
I wanted to chase down my peer group.
I was in my early 30s. I had no debt but nothing else to my name.
Brute force does work to start.
The determination I had did create results.
I had a fire inside me.
I sprinted after job titles and got them.
I sprinted after salary figures and got them.
But I was angry, frustrated, and disappointed a lot.
Why? Because my goals were based on external markers
Your foundations matter.
When I started out everything was based on the wrong foundations.
I needed to prove people wrong. I needed people to speak highly of me. I needed status. I needed $$$.
When I got those things I needed more.
I fell into the trap of chasing the horizon.
I was angry, frustrated, and disappointed. Because I could never catch the sun. I couldn’t see the progress I had made. I was so focused on more.
For years I was like this. It nearly broke me.
Then a framework helped change my life...
I was in the gap and I had gap goals:
WTF is the gap?
The gap is when you focus on measuring yourself against where you think you should be.
Gap goals rely on something external that you have no control over changing.
My whole life was set up for the gap.
I needed to get into the gain:
WTF is the gain?
The gain is when you focus on measuring the progress you have made and how far you come.
Gain goals rely on you expanding on who you are mentally, emotionally, and physically.
You improve your personal standards based on the goals you want and the progress you have made.
The gain shift.
Once I made this shift my life changed quickly.
A weight was lifted. I no longer looked to the external to prove I had achieved my goals. Everything was now focused on how I felt.
I defined what success looks like to me mentally, emotionally, and physically and worked to make it my reality.
The concept helped expand my freedoms.
This framework “The Gap and The Gain” created by Dan Sullivan helped change how I think about my goals.
I now believe to my core you expand into your goals.
As you become more you achieve more freedom of time, money, relationships, and purpose.
The results = Fulfilment and satisfaction.
When you focus on the gain in your life you are focusing on your signal.
It helps you ignore the noise. Internally and externally.
But this isn't the only framework that will help you build the good life.
Question 1st: Why did I get stuck and why do many business owners and solopreneurs get stuck in a frustrating rut?
Because they struggle to overcome emotional barriers.
Here are 4 more frameworks I have used when coaching my clients and in my own life to create more freedom of time, money, and purpose in life.
1. Integrity gap:
How you show up is different from who you want to be.
When you close this gap you improve the integrity you have in yourself. You trust yourself more. You feel more confident in your actions.
The more aligned you feel the easier it is to get out of ruts.
Do what you say you will do and close this gap.
2. Letting go:
You are holding on to good and bad emotions.
You are letting negative emotions hold you back. You are chasing the feeling of positive emotions. Neither is healthy for you in life and business.
To grow you must let go.
Meditate, journal, go for walks and find ways to let go of it all.
3. Upper limit:
You have put a ceiling on your success.
Success could feel like a burden to you. You might not like outshining others. Or you may feel flawed in some way.
Explore why you feel stuck in a rut.
You might find you are simply holding yourself back.
4. Healthy deserve levels:
You don’t think you deserve what you have.
You self-sabotage. You discredit your success. You find ways to avoid doing what is important to you.
Low deserve levels come from setting goals for the wrong reasons.
To get attention
To beat someone.
To prove people wrong.
These are all dumb sh*t goals.
Find your true reasons why you want success.
Frameworks and mental models are here to help you.
I would recommend thinking about how you can implement any of these into your life.
Are your foundations built on the wrong goals and emotions?
Today is a good day to ask that question.
Maximizing your self-performance is the key to you creating even more freedom of time and money, and I will help you do that with my P-R-O Accelerator Program
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